As soon as I returned home from work on Sunday, I introduced The Definitive 2014/15 NBA League Pass Ratings, kicking things off with a review of the Atlantic Division. Spoiler alert – The Drakes, my mistake, Toronto, might be the only team worth watching this year, as reflected by their above-average Giannis score. That’s right, as alluded to in the title, I measure a team’s LP potential on a scale of Greek Freaks, in honour of the official 2013/14 League Pass Darling and still-growing human embodiment of fun. For more on how I (extremely subjectively) determine the ratings, as well as a longer preamble, go back and read the first piece!
In a well-timed celebration of today being the date the actual product becomes available, this series continues along in the East. It’s The Definitive 2014/15 NBA League Pass Ratings: Central Division edition. And Holy Comic-Sans is it top-heavy.
- Chicago Bulls – This one’s a toughie, at least on first sight. On the one hand, and especially for the more casual NBA fan, the Bulls and their miserly pace, (29th ranked 90.2 possessions per 48 minutes) and horrific offense (93.7 PPG, last in the league) were borderline unwatchable minus Derrick Rose last season, and were rightly exposed in the playoffs. On the other, more analytically-inclined hand though, Coach Tom Thibodeau’s suffocating brand of defense was once again amazing (limiting opponents to 100.5 points per 100 possessions, the 2nd best figure across the league), while the coupling of Joakim Noah‘s play and Taj Gibson‘s improvement meant Chicago were at least semi-decent in terms of record. This year, both sides should be appeased. The Return, Part Deux, of Derrick Rose, along with the intriguing additions of Pau Gasol and Nikola Mirotic (not to mention the drafting of Dougie McBuckets), should ensure the offense is eminently more enjoyable, whereas the subtraction of Carlos Boozer will likely further improve the already-stifling defense. Combine their expected performance (13/2 to win the 2015 NBA Championship, per the Bovada Sportsbook) with Chicago’s timeless jerseys and a strong United Center crowd, and the Bulls should be a strong League Pass team – ‘should’ being almost entirely dependent on the health status of Rose’s knees.
- Cleveland Cavaliers – Must I really explain why the Cavaliers are going to be appointment viewing this season? Thanks to a certain fellow’s decision to return home to Ohio, the Q will be absolutely raucous for 41 nights next year, as the Cavs attempt to live up to their high billing*. The addition of a third superstar in Kevin Love (as well as a host of other useful veterans) to team up with LeBron and the league’s pre-eminent layup artist – point guard holdover Kyrie Irving – Cleveland are the NBA’s new villainous super team, and will have the other 29 teams gunning for them every game; you won’t be starved of effort watching teams go up against the talent of the Cavs. Toss in their fantastic uniforms and Andy Varejao’s voluminous locks, and Cleveland have all the makings of LP greatness. In fact, as far as I can tell the only downside to tuning into the Cavs might be the broadcast team – Austin Carr‘s excessive enthusiasm will only be spurred on by heightened viewership, so perhaps choose the opponent’s feed. If the worst comes to the worst, you can always mute it, and enjoy the my preseason League Pass Team of the Year in silence.
- Detroit Pistons – It’s been a long time since the ‘DEEEE-troit Basketball’ chant reverberated around The Palace of Auburn Hills, but with the hire of Stan Van Gundy to preside over affairs, the seeds have been sown for future success. Unfortunately, the on-court product – laden down by the onerous contracts and woeful shot selection of lefty Oak Hill alums Josh Smith and Brandon Jennings – still looks a couple of years away from even beginning to bloom. The development of Andre Drummond after a summer spent in the USAB framework might be worth keeping an eye on, but only from afar; if Drummond is truly to become Schreechin’ SVG’s midwest version of Dwight Howard, he’ll have to improve his ghastly 41.8% FT percentage in order to avoid the incredibly frustrating ‘Hack-a-_____’ tactic. No one wants to see endless bricks from the charity stripe, even if they do come in perhaps the best alternate uniform in the league. For now, Detroit will remain distinctly below-par.
- Indiana Pacers – Even at their hard-nosed best, Indiana were often hard to watch last year. Much like Chicago, the Pacers combined excellent defense (a league-best 99.3 points allowed per 100 possessions) with offensive ineptitude (92.3 PPG) and tortoise-like pace (92.5 possessions per game), grinding teams into submission en route to a Conference high 56-26 season. Of course, that obscures the fact they also suffered the strangest post-All-Star Break collapse of all time, a putrid stretch which revolved around Roy Hibbert‘s poor impression of Hasheem Thabeet, and culminated in rumors about Coach Frank Vogel’s future. Vogel stayed, but Indiana’s spark plug left – Lance will be making them dance in Charlotte this year, the 8th grader pushed out after the Pacers opted not to improve their initial contract offer. Any hope that remained for 2014/15, both in terms of on court success and League Pass entertainment, officially passed when Paul George horrifically fractured his leg during Team USA’s intrasquad Blue/White Scrimmage last month – an injury that ensured an endless diet of depressing George Hill/David West pick and pops will be on the menu at Bankers Life Fieldhouse this year. Any takers? Anyone?!
- Milwaukee Bucks – In spite of Giannis’ length-infused pixie dust, the Bucks stunk their way to a 15-67 record last year, somehow managing to accrue even more losses than the blatantly tanking Philadelphia. Their reward? Jabari Parker, whose rookie campaign instantly elevates Milwaukee to at least mildly interesting status. Aside from simply watching Jabari’s ROY charge, there are actually plenty of reasons for optimism that the Bucks will be a significantly better League Pass product this season. For one, Larry Drew has been replaced on the bench by Jason Kidd, his revolutionary timeout tactics, and strong facial hair game. Secondly, after singlehandedly submarine many a fantasy team (including mine), with a string of injuries and suspensions during the 2013/14 campaign, the chance of a redemptive Larry Sanders year seems high. If Sanders can be SANDERS! (hat tip to Grantland‘s Zach Lowe) and return to the shot-blocking ways of his third year, he and John Henson could inspire a Chad Ford-gasm with their collective length on defense. And finally, in a prime example of burying the lede, they have Giannis, the still-growing Greek Freak who possesses the unrivaled ability to alternate stunning athleticism with Bambi-on-ice moments on consecutive possessions, all while wearing a smile as wide as OJ Mayo’s waistline across his face. Adjust your TV/laptops/tablets/phones accordingly, the Bucks are watchable once more.
* Continuing with the 2015 Championship odds, again per Bovada, Cleveland are the preseason favourites to win it all at a price of 7/2.
Mike D'Antoni's Moustache 